Thursday, October 10, 2002

you know how there's 5 o'clock in the evening? apparently someone invented 5 o'clock in the morning too. thats when i got up today. i went and got on a plane and flew to honolulu this morning. went to ala'moana (i spelled that wrong) shopping center and walked around aimlessly. me and my dad then went to the mighty missouri. its some battle ship. whatever. we took the scumbag tour. this basically means we just waltzed onto the ship, didnt pay for a tour, and just sort of "joined" some tour bus style tour group. it was funny. old people give you dirty looks when you just invade their precious little over priced tour. the tour guide was a fat bastard too. if ever there needs to be a governmental position in charge of bragging on americas collective dick, its GOT to be this guy. his favorite line was "check this out guys ....(subtext: are you impressed?)" he kept saying "we" too. like "we took these guns and shot at bagdad from 200 miles away." i couldnt help but think, "whatever you fat fuck, you didnt do shit. you sat around on your fat ass, ate ding dongs and watched the peoples court all day while this ship was out in the ocean kicking ass and taking names." oh well ... fat people need dreams too. there was some lady in a wheel chair who felt very compelled to turn to and remark, "it must be a really sad point in life when you realize you've suddenly become too fat to walk." that was literally the reason she was in the wheelchair. (why has this become a fat bashing post? ... sorry fatties). so now i'm back in maui again. tomorrow we're driving up some volcano.

i saw the weirdest guy ever on the airplane. he looked like a real live hillbilly. the really skinny grizzled kind. like from the appalachians or something. i dubbed him "Lance McWeirdly." i think he might have died on the plane. oh well. i wonder if he has a 6 foot long shot gun.

quinn and his she-beast are showing up tomorrow. woooooonderful. this is going to blow.

nate and matt are a huge dissappointment to the cause. WHAT IN THE HELL!?!?! nate ... stop living under this phallocy that you are a "quality over quantity" kind of guy ... your posts arent THAT good. jesus h jones man! at least tell us how the gas mileage in your car is. CHRIST!!! and matt ... whats up? i know you're bored at work, we all are. i need things to fill the night hours whilst i'm here. everyone goes to bed at 9 pm. i need to be entertained.