Monday, October 13, 2003

i've been doing some thinking recently and i've decided that working is just not for me. this whole "getting up early to go do things that only benefit other people" thing is just not for me. i've thought briefly about my other options and there are only 2 that sound relatively promising. they are as follows:

1) Rock Star: This seems entirely possible, i mean, Ludacris is rich ... and i think he's partially retarded. so i figure if he can do it, so can i. i think i'm a relatively handsome fellow. the only hitch is that this plan of action requires the full cooperation of other people. i've found that other people arent very dependable and being a white guy who raps is pretty hit or miss ... but pretty much miss. unless you know dr dre.

2) Large Scale Drug Dealer: This plan of action seems lucrative. i mean, the start up costs are minimal, your client base is loyal and guaranteed (unless they go off and die or something) and the work load is minimal. all you really have to do is drive around in a cadillac, which i already have, and wait for your pager to go off. the only hitch to this plan is that it may require large quantities of jail time since the american government doesnt really look too fondly on this particular variety of enterprise. apryle already told me she'd be part of my colombian drug cartel though, so there's always that.

... i have considered just eating valium every day. i'd still have to go to work and all, but at least then i'd be so mellowed out that it wouldnt matter anymore. the problems with this plan, though, are that i dont know where to get valium, i dont know anything about valium and i dont want to turn out like that crazy lady in requiem for a dream.

perhaps the homeless are just the dudes that have it all figured out. they meet new people every day, the hang out drunk all the time and people just tolerate it, random people just hand them free money ... it sounds pretty promising ... except for that whole "wiping your ass with your own socks" thing.