Thursday, December 26, 2002

put a gun in my mouth and paint the walls with my brain
i cant believe, in all the times i watched that damn movie, that I never thought to sample that. i must be slipping. too bad the band that did sample it sucks balls and sounds just like every other screamo metalcore generic steamed carrots and throwup band around these days. screw hardcore. its all about Heath Versus Ros. <-- its a latin vs.. swing record i have. its brilliant. "anything you can do we can do better, we can do anything better than you! ... yes we can! yes we can yes we can!". its so great.

so that woman who's name starts with an E and ends with an A decided it would be crucial if she, for christmas, replaced my multitudes of dead plants with multitudes of alive ones. hooray for that. and get this, she even got me plants that the leaves are made out of poison. kick ass. someday there's going to be a coroner somewhere and he's going to be saying something to the effect of "looks like another death by salad." watch out bitches ... i've got a new weapon at my disposal ... and it tastes great with thousand island dressing.

the highlight of christmas was sitting around with erica and my mom and deciding that the only different between hassidic and orthodox jews is that "hassidic" is a much more fun word to say.

we also mercilessly made fun of some retards in some restaurant. ... christmas IS, after all, all about going around and pointing out all the ways we are better than everyone else.

we have painstakingly developed the mixed drink mafia. don't mess with us. we have martini shakers and we're not afraid to use them.

oh ... and J Newton Wilcox and her husband T Newton Wilcox are the most amazing people ever. i went over to their house and i was like "Food, get in my belly!" and it did. lots of it. it was way good too. terry should be a chef ... and soon. like NOW. his talents are going to waste. when i am, one day, a super rich drug cartel style millionaire in ecuador i am going to hire terry to be my personal chef. i'll also let him off people in the afternoons. it will be great. dude ... and jen made me a pillow that has a poster from vertigo on it. jen is a girl of many talents. and their dog 'buddy' is the most insane and awesome animal ever. ribbons and wrapping paper beware.

um .... what else ....

oh, gangs of new york is a kick ass movie. i've decided i want to be a 19th century street fighter now.

2 people need to call me. said people are nate and tasha. you are both slipping and i think you both need to stop pretty damn soon. i have not talked to either of you in nye on a week now. what the hell? am i suddenly not GOOD enough for the nastradamalus and tashalamacus club? what the hell? that makes me a sad panda.

and now i'm off like a prom dress ... because some of us work for slave driving multinational corporations that make you work the day after christmas. i tell you what -- i'm never going to run my drug cartel like this. everyone in my drug cartel will get 2 weeks off for christmas and new years. i'm going to be a caring kind of drug kingpin. now i just have to figure out how to break into the cocaine business. there's no money in straightedge kids ... gotta start slangin' that rock. <-- that was a joke ... lighten up frog ass.

(a frogs ass is water tight ... hence, so tight that water cannot get in. hence .. being a frog ass means you have your asshole clenched so tight that nothing can possibly penetrate its super sealed bond of tightness. so therefore being a frog ass makes you a tight ass. tight ass.)

that last part in parenthesis was pretty dumb, i know, this need not be pointed out.