Friday, October 24, 2003

i would just like to say that 99% of bands around right now are still way worse than ac/dc was 20 years ago. aint that a bitch.

now go read the first 7 paragraphs of this meshuggah review to gain more of an understanding why i think 90% of the people my age should be exterminated.

once you get to paragraph 8 stop reading because the dude just starts waxing intellectual like some kind of music professor. thats not what music reviews should be about. so if you read past paragraph 7, use it as a guide to A) how NOT to write music reviews and B) why i think the writers at pitchforkmedia should all be rounded up and shot. no one cares about your pea brained theories regarding the technicalities of some swedish guys drumming ... and whats more ... you're a FREAKING MUSIC REVIEWER ... if you knew so much about making music you'd be in a band that was more successful than the ones you're reviewing. but you're not ... so you arent ... so shut the hell up.

here is my review of that same meshuggah record -- yes i actually have it:
Meshuggah is a great band. they always have been. they're from sweden. thats why. if you dont like meshuggah and you do like disturbed or something, its probably because your mom put paint chips in your cereal when you were a child or bathed you in grain alchohol while you were a fetus. it sucks to be you ... but i bet your peripheral vision is outstanding what with your eyes being so far apart. that must come in handy when you're helping your dad ... or your brothers dad ... park your house ... again ... in a wal mart parking lot.

the end.