Tuesday, October 21, 2003

todays a real lonesome crowded west kinda day.

in recent days and weeks i have realized that the world is being overrun by skanks. its a real shame. i've decided that 1) i'm running for president in the first election there is after i turn 35 (unless its a zero year ... i'm way paranoid like that). 2) I'm going to start campaigning right now. 3) i will outlaw skankery. sure its nice to look at pretty girls, but i'm really not interested in seeing christina aguileras birth canal on television -- you know the apocalypse is on its way when that seems like a "next logical step" scenario. i feel pretty comfortable, as a presidential candidate, berating christina aguilera because all of the people that will be offended by my criticizm of her skankery are either 12 year old girls or too stupid to know how to vote anyway. it's a pretty safe bet i think.

... and now for something completely different
being that i am a complete and utter computer nerd, i am a member of a few online "communities." now ... lets just skip the obvious fact that this is unconscionably lame. i am well aware. this is not the point. the point is the hours of entertainment you get from being on these things ... case in point: an email i got from a fat girl ... here it is completely unedited. hopefully the picture will work too, because its amazing .... as in disgusting.

From:	Brittany
Date:	Oct 19, 2003 05:40 PM
Subject:	WOW!!
Body:	Well I saw your picture and thought, fuck I want to fuck him...and you look like a good person to talk to!

uh .... WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! Do i look like i need syphallis or something? i am speechless ... this is just ... it's ... ungodly. i literally shuddered when i read this. words cannot express this level of disgust. if ever there was something that could drive a person to alcoholism and murder at the same time ... this has GOT to be it. if you happen to know this girl, please slap her. then give her this link. shit, give her this one and this one too. she'll need them eventually.

this just in
she also sent me a picture of her families rambling estate.

i'm sorry ... comedy like this doesn't just knock on your door every day.

hasta la vista.