Saturday, May 15, 2004

ties cost more than shirts

this knowledge was revealed to me while shopping for new work clothes. i don't know what mastermind of economics, production, and trade came up with this ingenius idea, but they should be publicly humiliated and then punished severely. i'm opting for some sanctions, bombing, and a military occupation of their house, to make sure they don't digest reason and common sense again. to make sure they don't excrete a foul idea and try to pass it off as a bouquet of roses.

am i wrong? did i go to sleep drunk and wake up sober to a drunk world? have the tables been turned? do i get to live in a crazy world devoid of the basic elements that substance and dependability are comprised of? touch me, i'm sick.

here is a brief list, brought to you by sanity and ratiocination:

1. it's a tie.
2. dude, it's a tie.
3. look at the tie.
4. that shirt must really suck, cause that's a tie.
5. TIE. DUDE. it's a tie, dude.

unfortunately, nothing more could surface to my mind at the time, and i bought two. i am a consumer. you do it to yourself, you do, and that's why it really hurts.

next issue: why do ties always have to have shitty-ass prints all over them? (aka - "which a-hole thought it would be a good idea to make something you wear around your neck and down the front of your chest, what could arguably be the first thing someone sees when noticing you, why... god, why did they think it would be a good idea to make it a gawdy, raucous P.O.S., dude? seriously.")