Friday, June 11, 2004

i guess i have to be the voice of reason and political thinking today, so let's see what google news has to say about the world...

so, today bush made a statement about what my agenda in life has been and should be. here it is:

"The defeat of terror worldwide and the success of freedom in Iraq are the challenges of the moment. The spread of freedom in the Middle East is the imperative of our age."

that's really funny. i mean, funny like "hey, that's funny because it's not me." if only i could sit around and ponder the freedom of the middle east in my spare time. i swear to god, life would be peachy-keen if the freedom of the middle east was the top concern in my daily routine.

mock conversation on the golf course:

the zac: hey payton, i wonder if the middle east will be able to have a choice between coca-cola and pepsi?
the payton: yeah, i lose sleep fort-nightly pondering that and what ever happened to miami vice.
the zac: yeah, don knotts is the shit. everytime i wear a pastel suit with the sleeves rolled up, i think about him.
the payton: needless to say, your ponderings on don knotts are many and well worth the effort.
the zac: that is fairly needless to say, cause i know it, and so does everybody else. would you do me a favor and freshen my cristal?
the payton: i left the cristal in the back of my benzo. perhaps you would care to throw money at homeless people instead, while we snort lines of premium columbian blow off of my mint-condition first print of superman, issue number one?
the zac: yes and yes. first, let's stiff the caddy and finish the third hole. after all, we're filthy rich and can do whatever we want... such as, ponder the existence of people on the other side of the world, while totally ignoring the plight of those we live with.
the payton: eff them, i rule. they obviously deserve their lot in life because they're either black or lazy.
the zac: indeed, payton, indeed. have you ever pondered the existence of god?
the payton: only when i'm knee-deep in a high priced escort, spilling my seed all up in that old-school testament style. unnhhhh.
the zac: unnnhhh.
the payton: fore!

so, i decided that i should really ignore my own problems and concentrate on the middle east. after all, i'm going to end up getting shipped off their soon. i may as well at least build up a decent hatred for the people i'm going to have to kill... that or i can be bummed out that i'm in iraq, instead of jamming a mortar up osama's bin laden; getting shot at by locals and shopping my cock among the locals with the rest of the high school football team.

sweet.