Wednesday, August 31, 2005

i just read a scanner darkly and am contemplating shelving video games for the summer and starting to study for my fall classes. at the same time, it's about a quarter to 11pm seattle time and, while getting changed over to "normal" sleeping hours is on my list of things to do along with studying, unfortunately (for all of you reading this), this is something that will have to wait until tomorrow or possibly next week altogether.

so, why am i posting on here (please list reasons other than the obvious; dodging out on responsibility for one more night)? i guess it's because i feel disconnected from my livejournal now and live too far away to just see people and talk in person (and my phone card died a couple weeks ago... yeah, i'm in college "between loan checks" right now). more importantly, what the hell am i writing about?

i decided quite early on that i should post something worth reading. i had hopes of filling this post with words and sentences that seemed to come together into some semblance of what could be taken away as enrichment from the reader. these hopes have gradually waned as the nonsense that permeates my thoughts took control behind my fingers, through synapses, and back at the root of the demon (aka- my drugged out, gray mass of brain tissue that probably resembles something moist you'd find wadded up in the corner of the bathrooms at the cha cha). still, despite constant lessons in life to the contrary, hope is alive and my fingers are at the very least exercising.

news? hmmm... i haven't watched tv since i visited the girlfriend's parents in oregon and it was depressing. people were shooting each other in downtown portland. a lot. then, i actually read some headline that pops up from a page on the internet, click away to the washington post and find out that our president was just shy of taking the longest break from office of any president in our freedom-filled history. what, was he about to break his record from his first few months in the office? i just couldn't believe it... i mean, forget that we're at war and people are dying, forget that if he's vacationing, there are throngs of mothers standing outside his ranch waving pictures of their dead babies, forget that his job is essentially one of the most critical positions one can hold in this country (and possibly the world)... jesus, okay... just start forgetting anything that makes sense and you can actually catch up with this paperdoll president's reasoning. the question i want to know is, when is he going to get fired for just not showing up to work? i would like to interview a potato farmer, a wall street businessman, any lawyer, a doctor, a frigging teacher, et al, and find out how many positions there are out there that let you not show up to work for this long. what a complete asshole.

but, i decided i wasn't going to talk about the news because it's incredibly depressing. so, instead i will post pictures. not just any pictures, though. for your viewing enjoyment, i have selected a "theme" of pictures that keep me going. you see, i really take that "america: love it or leave it" phrase to heart. actually, it's a combination of that and the basic premise behind non-violent protest. since, i firmly believe that the actions required of me to right the wrongs i see daily in this country would make my own life a monotonous drudge of cleaning up other people's shit and trying to reach people that just don't care (i decided that the word "automartyron" describes the essence of what my life would become and envision a shiny robot with no feelings, carrying on day in and day out, with vaccuum-tubing arms and kitchen utensil hands, trying to pick up everyone's toys), i decided a while ago that i would instead work toward finding some place that i'd like to spend my life. it's an ethical dilemma because i believe that not doing anything, complaining, or ignoring problems while participating in the system that perpetuates them, is akin to condoning the actual actions themselves. like it or not, my tax money is being used to kill people for oil right now. i'm not too happy about that, or about what we've done in south america, east timor, haiti, etc etc etc since around the 1940's. i would submit that these actions most likely continue beyond that time period and probably go back past manifest destiny to the inception of the united states and it's succession from the british empire. however, 500+ years of oppression, genocide, and all-around human rights abuse is a lot to choke down and i'm honestly not too sure how much of the taxes from my meager paycheck every other week could stretch that far (but, if i found out that the united states had been using my money to buy top ramen lunches in the cafeteria at the school of americas... man, i'd be one pissed hombre).

at any rate, i'm not going to post about the news and politics, because my dream is a happy place and there are only a few things that i decided i'd really need to survive or live out my days (as long or short as they may be). without further adieu, i give you... my dream:

places:

the phillipines