Friday, January 03, 2003

leaving las vegas
so i'm back. i hate new years resolutions, but this one's necessary .... and sort of ironically fitting. i'm never going on vacation with my family again. never. i did have a pretty decent time ... when adequately inebriated.

i saw some english soccer hooligans get in a fight in the bar. it was funny. they were too gay to be soccer hooligans really, but i, along with some random dude i had just met, was taunting them while they were fighting. "FUCKING SOCCER HOOLIGANS GO BACK TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE POND YOU FILTHY WANKERS!" its a lot funnier when its in the context of a las vegas casino bar PACKED with people. i actually heard these engilsh morons utter the words "twat" "tosser" "wanker" and something else. it was funny. they all had accents and bad teeth and dressed appallingly. it was great. this was all at 4 in the morning too by the way.

security guards get mad when you sleep in the lounge.

seigfried and roy are even gayer than you think they are. seriously ... WAAAAAAAY gayer.

the bus in vegas is the best thing ever. free entertainment at its best. "there might be 900,000 pigs in the streets, but none of them can tell me i can't drink. they dont know what i've got in my bag of tricks. I"M FELIX THE CAT JACK! a bag of mice'll spook a horse. i got rattle snakes in my bag of tricks. you're gonna be stuck like chuck! I been here 17 god damned years, cant nobody tell me i cant drink!"

vegas is kind of like what would happen if you mixed shitty porn and a bowling alley -- only without the actual bowling.

um yeah ... fat people and foreigners. i think i'm sick. sonofabitch.