Sunday, May 23, 2004

hold on ... let me explain this
yesterday, yesterday, yesterday. It was quite a memorable day. I woke up early and got a haircut. dude made me look like i just joined the marines ... whatever. that was at like 11am.

after that I went to the liquor store to buy some Jack Daniels so i could train for a contest that had been arranged for later in the day: Hurlfest 2004. I think i started drinking at noon ... if you drink liquor and its later than 12:00pm, it's not alchoholism.

2pm came, so did hurlfest 2004. I powered through that crap like a champ.

The contest started off as "A1 and Soy Sauce," and the goal was to see who could do the most shots of A1 and Soy Sauce without puking. The rules were changed, however, before i arrived and it just became, "make these 4 guys do shots of every condiment in the house." So basically it came down to me and Griff, after taking at least 30 shots of A1, Soy Sauce, Maple Syrup, Ketchup, Mustard, Hot Sauce, Vegetable Oil, Worchester Sauce, Thousand Island Dressing ... and if you were me, shots of Jack in between all of that other stuff. Griff and I called it and shook hands, then Griff went into the front yard and yacked a few minutes later. I kicked it like a champion. By the end of yesterday my belly was distended further than i've ever seen and ... yeah ... it was bad. sodium isnt good for you kids.

After i saw this dude sitting next to me puke into that bucket, I wanted to quit just so i didnt have to endure the puking part. that guy was decidedly NOT stoked. it looked painful.

oh yeah ... i wore a fake mustache and sunglasses throughout most of the competition. that is, until the stickyness on the mustache got so soaked in vegetable oil and liquor that it wouldnt stay on anymore.

keep an eye out for the Lower Level Stunt Team DVD coming out later this year to see the whole extravaganza in streaming digital format. I sprayed Bill Baker with ketchup too ... it was rad. I thought he was going to get up and murder me.

look how bummed the dude sitting next to me is!

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Now on to something that actually relates to the original subject of this post.

Saul Williams.

I went to see Saul Williams and Cursive last night. I was stoked to see Saul Williams, but that guy must have done some serious bong hits before the show because he talked A LOT and didnt really SAY ANYTHING. The stuff he was talking about made no sense ... or it was just, you know, wrong. whatever ... he probably got a lot of dumb 18 year olds all extra stoked, and they probably all registered to vote, so whatever. Cursive was good, but Cursive is always good, so that was just to be expected. It's too bad Saul Williams isn't on tour with a whole band. when he plays with a band it's awesome. That guy does some amazing writing, it's just better when it isn't interrupted every 4 seconds with, "Hold on! Let me explain this." oh well.

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Al Green ... If you're not into Al Green already, you're missing out. Al Green is a king

... or, as christopher walken would say, "Cock of the walk baby!"

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Breaking rocks in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won.

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"Sorry I had to call you a pussy all those times. That was just macho head games."