Friday, July 30, 2004

Mike Patton: Genius
I have this compilation album of mike patton colaboration projects. It seems everythig this man records turns to aural gold. I am jealous. He does a cover of Black Flags "Six Pack" that I basically think is better than the original ... all the way down to the ending, "Fuck it, make it a Zima" line. rad.

Beer tastes good, but it makes you fat
it's true. damn. having an Irish-to-the-bone girlfriend doesn't help either. she's 50 percent hopps, i swear. Corona never gets you drunk. it just gives you a headache. and, as a rule, the best tasting beer is the most fattening. its true.

The Catcher in the Rye
i'm in the middle of reading this book right now. it's awesome. I love the way it's written. It's written like a dumb kid wrote it. It's funny, but not in an overtly funny way. so good. checkit:

I can't always pray when I feel like it. In the first place, I'm sort of an athiest. I like Jesus and all, but I don't care too much for most of the other stuff in the Bible. Take the Disciples, for instance. They annoy the hell out of me, if you want to know the truth. They were all right after Jesus was dead and all, but while He was alive, there were about as much use to Him as a hole in the head. All they did waas keep letting Him down. I like almost everybody in the Bible better than the Disciples. If you want to know the truth, the guy I like best in the Bible, next to Jesus, was that lunatic and all, that lived in the tombs and kept cutting himself with stones. I like him ten times as much as the Disciples, that poor bastard.

Maybe I just like books that are generous with their use of the term bastard. It's used a lot. Plus there's all kinds of super intellegent insight into things such as religion, as you can see above. ha! You could seriously read this whole book in a couple hours. I totally recommend it.

John Kerry
I'm not a big fan of John Kerry, but I watched his speech tonight and I thought he did a really good job. Some talking head, blowhard, moron was saying afterwards that Kerry successfully framed the race in the best way he could and backed Bush into a corner that would be hard to get out of. Not a bad assessment if you ask me. Here's a good article about it. It basically says that Bush has handed the Democrats all the issues they need to beat him on a silver platter. "That's the lesson of this administration, this election, and this convention. Kerry doesn't have to write any good lines. He just has to read them." word. Al Sharpton actually gave a really amazing speech too. Here's a link to a bunch of the good speeches (MSN video: You need windows media player). Sharpton kills, Kerry kills, Edwards kills, Obama REALLY kills, Gore does well, Dean blows dicks, Ron Reagan stumps for the Democrats and says republicans should be ashamed of themselves, Clinton could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. Seriously dude ... Clinton is a seasoned pro. I can see why he got blown in the oval office. He could get Kd Lang to blow him at lilith fair. He could get Martina Navratilova to blow him center court at Wimbeldon. The man is a master. He's a Jedi. It's amazing. Hough Hefner doesn't even have that kind of charisma.

Salmon
I love salmon. I love fish in general, really. I don't know when this happened. I used to hate eating fish. Now I can't get enough of it. It's weird. I'd go so far as to say I like Salmon more than I like steak. Mostly because steak just makes me sleepy and have to crap a lot. It's kind of a tossup as to whether or not salmon actually tastes better. Probably not. Whatever. Mashed potatos are still the greatest invention known to man. Except boobs.

click this. That will never stop being funny to me. I wonder what all those girls moms think? Probably something along the lines of, "My daughter's a hooker, but at least it's by appointment only." America rules.