Friday, December 24, 2004

GOD DAMMIT! I AM in the Christmas spirit!
Tomorrow is Christmas. Somehow that prospect isn't as exciting as it was when I was, say, ten. I already said that all my shopping is done, so I'll just go play the Sponge Bob Square Pants video game I bought on a whim. It's actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. It basically just rips off Mario Brothers, but you're not supposed to notice that.

I bought a friend of mine a bottle of Remy Martin Cognac for Christmas. He just about crapped his pants when I gave it to him. I never knew liquor could be such a good gift. I suggest giving liquor for any occasion.

Recently I've been driving around in Kc's truck a lot more. Her truck is more of a piece of crap than I had originally suspected. Not only do huge billows of smoke come out of it when you start it up (no, seriously, huge), and not only do the keys only sometimes work in the locks, but now the drivers side window is becoming more and more difficult to roll up. It's almost comical, really. It burns oil. It has no back bumper or tailgate. The whole thing rattles. And to top it all off, the tabs are expired. This wouldn't be that big of a problem, except that the truck can't pass a simple emissions test, so the tabs CAN'T be renewed. Awesome. This means that whenever you drive you have to constantly look in your rear view mirror to make sure there isn't a cop about to pull up behind you and notice. Kc has already been pulled over twice because of it. Amazing. I've pulled some pretty sweet evasive maneuvers to avoid police. That's made even more impressive by the fact that you're trying to casually evade A COP, so you can't do anything blatantly illegal or you'll just screw yourself. Nothing like a little cat and mouse to get your blood up. For serious.

If you happened to see the Jimmy Kimmel holiday special, you got to witness one of the most horribly slapped together, and therefore most hilarious, hour and a half of television that I think has ever aired. Jimmy Kimmel tobogganing with Mike Tyson while singing Christmas carols. Hilarious. The celebrity interstitials were the best part. Roseanne's was simply; I love the Jerry Kimbell Holiday Special! That was pretty much how the whole show went. I wish I had taped it. That would be pretty funny to watch with like 20 people whilst piss drunk. You should really try to work the word "Whilst" into everyday conversation. The looks people give you are amazing.