Wednesday, January 12, 2005

We're a party band ... What's your excuse?
Abraham Lincoln Killing Machine finished up recording our debut album "We're a party band ... What's your excuse?" over the weekend. It came out about four hundred thousand times better than I ever expected. I cant even begin to explain this. The whole thing is HILARIOUS. Every song has at least three one liners in it that will make you laugh your ass off. There's even a song about Sean O'leary and how he went to a foreign country and was forced to lower his standards in the realm of females. "From Andong to the DMZ! We're teaching ESL to all these cities!"

The best part of our recording process was the first day. We all had a few cocktails to take the edge off and loosen everyone up for a real party-band-performance ... Neil had about 14 beers and passed out in the control room. He snored in there for a good 2 or 3 hours. Finally I took a sharpie and drew a dick with big hairy balls on his face ... Kind of like in that movie; the name of which I cant remember. We all had a good laugh about that. He still didn't wake up though. So I decided to scrawl FUCK across his forehead. He slept for a good 45 minutes after that, then we woke him up because everyone was leaving to go get food. Neil decided to come, but said he'd only sleep in the van.

We went to Jack in the Box. Taiga and I went in to get ourselves some food, Doug and Neil hung out in the van. Anyway, Taiga and I are standing in the restaurant waiting for our orders to come up when we hear a ruckus at the back of the store. There's a bunch of kids and families in there, so we turn around to see what's going on. It was Neil stumbling in the door piss drunk. Two things registered in everyones mind at this point: 1) There's some guy with FUCK written on his forehead in Jack in the Box. 2) This guy is obviously smashed ... and he might be homeless. Neil walked up to the counter while Taiga and I did our best not to bust out laughing. At first no one would help him, probably because they thought he was a lunatic, but then finally some girl took his order. She did so completely straight faced and never let on that the guy she was helping had a giant cock drawn on his right cheek. Neil got his food, came back out to the van and remained oblivious to the vulgarity we'd applied to his head.

I'm not exactly super clear on the time frame of all of this, but he walked around with this stuff drawn on his face for HOURS. I drew on his face at the studio, we went to Jack in the Box, came back to the studio for a few hours, then drove home. Neil didn't notice he had anything on his face until over an hour after we dropped him off and he was LEAVING HIS HOUSE to go out for the night. Had he not gone to wash his hands right before he left, he never would have gone in the bathroom, never would have looked in a mirror and would have gone out to the bar the same way he went to Jack in the Box.

This was one of the most perfectly executed practical jokes I have ever played. So awesome.

Life = Hectic
so my tenure at Microsoft officially ends on Friday. On Monday I will be an employee of the Washington Post. This may seem like nothing, but it definitely isn't. Work sucks. Everything is crazyness. I've got about 2 weeks worth of work to finish up before the end of the day on Friday. Not fun.

But lets look on the bright side. As soon as the work nightmare ends, the home nightmare can begin. Yes, packing, dealing with moving companies, finding a place to live, traveling and all the rest of that crap. Not fun. Before I was hoping to delay my move as much as possible, now that it's getting close, I just want it to be over with. Life will get a whole lot easier once the place I work and the place I live aren't 10,000 miles away from eachother