Monday, July 11, 2005

I have somehow managed to injure my ass
I went to some crazy street fair/party yesterday in Williamsburg. I'm pretty sure it was run by the mafia. no, really. street fairs are always super ghetto. this one was no exception. it was one of those ones where there are a bunch of rides that only ever get safety inspections once every 10 years and are run by some dude who normally busses tables at a bar. People just pile their kids onto those things like it's no big deal anyway. There was one of those "goes upsidedown" rides there. We all considered riding it until we realized it was 6 bucks a ride and probably the most unsafe thing in the entire world. Even more unsafe than riding a bicycle with no seat through AIDs infested sticker-bushes. While I was at this street fair I took a bite of an deep fried funnel cake wrapped oreo cookie that had been dipped in powdered sugar. It was simultaneously the most delicious and disgusting thing I've ever put in my mouth. I immediately gained 30 pounds and had a heart attack.

After we wore out the street fair we went and watched a bunch of drunk people play softball. Some dude injured himself while sliding into 3rd base so we heckled him. He was really just a big blubbering vagina who was complaining about nothing. Don't slide when you're wearing shorts dumbass. Now walk it off and take a lap.

Once we lost interest in that, we momentarily entertained the idea of going over and checkign out the band that was also playing in the same park for no apparent reason. Then we got a little closer and realized the band sucked. So we left.

Never eat at White Castle. It is perhaps the most disgusting food you will ever eat. It is also the best food you will ever eat. But it's disgusting. The burgers are like little toxic waste sponges that have this weird fake barbeque taste to them ... but they're not supposed to taste like barbeque at all. maybe that's not waht they tasted like. Maybe it was more like the taste of the smell of solder.

Once Williamsburg stopped being "the hot spot" Kc and I traveled the long journey back to Manhattan and went to see Batman Begins. That movie is real dumb but still rather amazing. There are probably a bunch of 14 year old boys in this country going apeshit over how awesome it was. I can dig it. Batman shouldnt loud-whisper so much though. I want his hanglider cape. and that tank thing ... that was pretty badass.

I went to a party in Bushwick on Saturday night. Bushwick is cheap-all-over. Rent's cheap, beer's cheap ... cheap cheap cheap. I'd totally move out there if it werent for the fact that it takes about 4 years to ride the train into Manhattan from there. Seriously ... 8 stops on the L train? Retarded. That means nothing to anyone who reads this blog. I understand that. Whatever. I met a bunch of people at this party and I think I managed to offend every single one of them. We literally walked in and everyone was like, "How'd you hear about the party, who do you know?" we were like ... "Uh ... no one ... We know this one guy who knows this other guy who knows this girl who we've never met." "OH! She's here, you want me to go get her?" " ... Suuuuuure." We had a tiny mouse stomping competition on the subway platform on the way home. This town is very much infested with rodents.

I wont post again for 76 days.