Sunday, August 08, 2004

(In the "News not important enough to say anything about" section)
Rick James fails To Continue Cheating Death
And the world asks; "Rick James? He died? ... He was alive?!?"

... And don't expect me to be surprised when someone finds Bobby Brown, Whitney Houston and Darryl Strawberry dead in the back seat of an Escalade either.

Now, if Keith Richards dies, THAT will be surprising. I seriously think that guy is some kind of weird super hero. He's just foolishly squandered all his super powers trying to prove that drugs don't kill people. I'll bet you anything Keith Richards will die of smoke inhalation shortly after saving a newly emigrated Filipino family from a house fire. You heard it here first. That's just the kind of world we live in.

"Come on kiddies gather 'round. Who's your foremost friend in town? From Main to Maple the name resounds: Professor Nutbutter."