Friday, September 23, 2005

well isn't this a depressing time to be alive
I'm watching television coverage of this whole Rita hurricane situation right now. The levees in New Orleans have apparently been breached once again. On 20/20 they're talking about the dustbowl and the Okies relocating to California. They're talking about 5 dollar gas and "Permanent" changes to the American way of life. Are they hinting at a new great depression? Who knows. We all know I'm a believer in the concept of peak oil ... I've come to think that it wont (wouldn't?) have been such a huge fast paced impact as some have forecasted, but it seems that this hurricane season could change all of that. Suddenly I find myself amazingly glad I don't, and won't, live in the suburbs and that I'm really never planning on having kids. Screw all of that. I need to prepare for the coming zombie onslaught and save my money for shotgun shells and teflon battle helmets. After all, zombies can't eat your brains if they can't get to them. But seriously. Fuck George Bush. My friend Bob posted a rant spoken by Bill Maher recently. I hate that man (not Bob, he's stellar) but what he said is sort of amazing. I'm just going to rip it off now.

“Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you any more. There’s no more money to spend—you used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard’s bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one’s speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

“Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man?

Now I know what you’re saying: there’s so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don’t. I know, I know. There’s a lot left to do. There’s a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

“But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why?
Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised that you haven’t given yourself a medal. You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

“On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you’re just not lucky. I’m not saying you don’t love this country. I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

“So, yes, God does speak to you.

What he is saying is: ‘Take a hint.’ ”

Yar? Yar.

Have you noticed how the Iraq war is super depressing now too? It seems the consensus has become that there is no way we can "win" but only a few options of how we can appear not to "lose." When I was a kid I used to think that after Vietnam there was no way America would ever wage another war of that sort again. I guess I was wrong, but maybe I assumed that for all the right reasons. Read this article in the Christian Science Monitor. It's a real bummer. Here's a quote from that artilce with a reference to this one.

Finally, The Guardian reports that "ambitions for Iraq are being drastically scaled down in private" by British and US officials. The main goal has now become avoiding the image of failure. The paper quotes sources in the British Foreign department as saying that hopes to turn Iraq into a model of democracy for the Middle East had been put aside. "We will settle for leaving behind an Iraqi democracy that is creaking along," the source said.

Let's all buy AK47s, cans of food and start dressing like Tina Turner. It seems like a very strange and scary premonition that people are now fleeing from Houston only to strand themselves on the freeway because their cars run out of gas.